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Co living observations after five days

June 11, 2023 by nancy
  1. Provides the benefits of nomadic life while being stationary 
    1. Chaos, stimulation, change is all here baby– even if your body is still, your mind is spinning 
    2. Actually attracts of current nomads or nomad-adjacent– could be a good opportunity to meet folks to be nomadic with afterwards 
    3. It’s a flexible living arrangement to where this could be a chapter of nomadic life 
    4. The co-living social life mimics the social ambiance of hostels, minus the crappy bunk beds and 
  2. It’s exposure therapy for nervous poopers
    1. In co-living, it unlocks a new unbearable depth to the torture because now people know not just if, but how long I’m in there if someone’s waiting to use… especially when the bathroom is shared among five people and is by the kitchen.
    2. The apartment came with a bidet and stool, which I have always wanted. It does not abate the fear, but makes the torture slightly bearable. 
  3. People pleasing perfectionists tendencies go die here 
    1. The grounding foundation of social protocols do not exist 
      1. There’s an extremely low threshold to meeting people, which creates infinite possibilities of creating and maintaining connections. I could meet a new close friend, or I might not ever see this person again. It’s a constant figuring my level of commitment to connections.
      2. Despite attempting to find grounding with someone, the lack of context, new settings, and among a constantly changing group dynamic even in the same hour makes for many clumsy, confusing social decisions. 
      3. There’s no knowing what would be the polite” or right” thing to do. It’s frustrating because I could hurt someone accidentally, but it’s also liberating because there is no definitive answer so all I can do is practice apologizing and reconciling with others, and forgiving myself.
  4. Snacking opportunities abound, although I eat less overall 
    1. Even if I’m not cooking, my roommates will offer you a tasty treat if they are cooking.
      1. This is true even if some roommates are chefs and some are not. Culinary skills are not the pre-requisite quality, it is generosity.
    2. Between work, socializing, and navigating surprises, I have little time to cook unless I’m intentionally committed. This could be more of a first week consequence than inherent to coliving experience. 
  5. More resources, less executive function  
    1. Living on your own or with one another usually requires that the domestic chores are 50-85% individual perfection, but the percentage plummets in co-living. Someone in my apartment takes care of all the plants, someone else installed the door lock, someone else re-arranged the furniture.
    2. I now have access to two air purifiers, a dehydrator, kitchen aid mix, so many spices. Furniture is found in hallways and people are happy to lend items. There are boxes of books, bedsheets, crafts, and electronics to dig through. On the other hand, it is hard to find things. 
    3. Unless you are lucky to have a proactive roommate, low-urgency but high importance domestic tasks e.g. spring cleaning or addressing arising problems are not anyone’s clear responsibility 
  6. I’m constantly learning through casual conversations
    1. I learned about air purification, fermented koji, plants diseases, effective altruism, and my favorite subject, people’s childhoods, emotions, and relationship history 
  7. Schedules and plans are flexible, so my boundaries have to be stronger 
    1. Spontaneous invitations to dance parties, board game nights, and hangouts with interesting people makes me have to make peace with FOMO.